JETT – 18
If you’ve never written to your kids, can I encourage you to start today? I am going to share with you what I wrote to mine at the beginning of this year. I have a journal that I write in every now and then with thoughts, just ramblings when something special happens that I want them to remember. But this was the first letter to all of my kids. I hope it will be the first of many!
Letter to my children
January 2011
There’s a few things that I felt on my heart to share with you all, and hopefully, each year I will begin with a letter to you, my children…my heartbeat.
When we were saved in 2004, I gave all of you over to God and said “they are your children Lord, your will be done, not mine.” Since then, I have prayed for you each day (or most days!) but my role did not stop as a mother when I handed the reigns to God. Clearly, he showed me that the greatest ministry of my life will be how I parent each of you. Praying for you is good, but it’s not enough.
God expects more of me – he has given me the responsibility to grow, encourage, uplift, nurture, expand, champion, challenge, and fight for you until each of you is given to your husband, who then takes on that mantle. I will continue being your mum forever, but the role will change as the years progress…I get to watch you become mothers too, and cheer you on as you undertake the most important position on the planet.
Now I have two sons and two more daughters, and you are included in everything we share with the girls. You have the same rights and responsibilities as blood children.
As parents, it is our greatest desire to see each of you become all that God has designed and planned for you, and in this, we have great expectations of you.
Whether those expectations are met or not, doesn’t matter. It is the role of us as parents to continually encourage you to greatness, and to love you whether you get there or not. If we never cared what you did, or set goals or boundaries for you, or challenged you to go forward, we have failed in our role.
I also want to share with you how I see Love. There’s been a bit of talk lately about conditional love vs. unconditional love and I would like to give you my perspective on it.
The love that God has for us is the ideal of course – the Agape Love that we all aspire to in our relationships. The love of 1 corinthians 13. When you get married and grow together as the years pass, and when you have children, I pray that you will begin to understand more of this love. I believe that’s why God created Family – to give us an experience to learn more of Agape Love. It only happens over time.
As a mum, I know there will be times that I will disappoint you or do things that are contrary to your expectation of me. In the same way, children can disappoint parents in their behaviour or attitude, but that doesn’t ever stop Love flowing. I might not like something that you do or say, but I will always LOVE you. Sometimes in your marriage, you can have times where you love your spouse, but you don’t like them very much. The underflow of Love remains, but through emotional seasons/hurtful times, you can find yourself just not liking them so much!
I have many different ways of expressing my love for you…it isn’t just when I tell you I love you, or hug you or squish your faces…it’s also in my fighting for you, getting protective of you, demonstrating love by acts of service like cooking, washing, ironing, driving you around, not going to sleep until you get home. Even in the times when I get angry, the underlying motive is love which shows itself in concern for your choices, maybe seeing the way you should go but allowing you to make decisions on your own.
God shows His love for us in different ways too. He is the God of pure poetry, romance and care, but also loves us in his righteous anger for us, his discipline, his mercy, compassion, and grace. He is protective, and committed to our success – even when it hurts us at the time.
I believe good parenting is exactly the same.
I aspire to be someone who is full of God’s peace, but I aim to find that peace in the midst of the chaos of a life full of children and the opportunities and challenges that brings. Sitting quietly in prayer for you guys is about 1/10th of my job…the rest of it is in the nitty-gritty, the laying down of my life for yours, the attention to your needs and being in your life (and in your face sometimes!)
I believe a wide-open life is the only kind of life worth living. You will be hurt, disappointed, and fail, but that just makes the successes, laughter, and joy of living that much sweeter.
My biggest aim in life is to do this mum thing well, for you to know at the end of my life, that you are loved and can achieve ANYTHING you set your heart to in God. I will continue to love you, in all the ways of love I can express, through 2011 and cheer you on when you feel like quitting. I will be a wiper of tears, quieter of fears, bringer of joy, cheerleader of my crew, and 100% committed to seeing this family stronger, more bonded, and richer for the experiences that this year brings in Jesus name.
I apologise in advance for hurting your feelings, for cutting you off in conversations, for pushing too hard and being too intense! But I don’t apologise for loving you my way, it’s the only way I know.
Love MUM
